Everyone has a shadow side, that hidden part of our personality that houses reactivity, fear, and unprocessed pain. For each Enneagram personality type, the shadow looks different. And according to Elly J Tomlin’s The Enneagram Evolved, becoming aware of your type’s shadow is one of the most powerful steps toward emotional freedom.
Your shadow is not your enemy. It is the part of you that developed to survive, not thrive. When you are under stress, tired, or feeling unseen, it is often the shadow that takes the wheel.
What Is the Shadow Side?
In Jungian terms, the shadow is the part of ourselves we suppress, reject, or disown. It often contains our most reactive, fearful, or defensive behaviors. Each Enneagram personality type has a core fear and strategy, and when overused or unconscious, that strategy turns into shadow behavior.
Elly J Tomlin encourages readers to stop avoiding their shadow and start listening to it. “Your shadow is not proof you have failed. It is proof you are human, and ready to evolve.”
Shadow Clues by Type
Here is a quick breakdown of what the shadow side might look like for each type:
- Personality Type 1: Harsh self-criticism, resentment, and obsessive control.
- Personality Type 2: Manipulation masked as care, martyrdom, and boundary violations.
- Personality Type 3: Image management, emotional suppression, and ruthless competition.
- Personality Type 4: Victimhood, comparison, and emotional volatility.
- Personality Type 5: Isolation, emotional detachment, and superiority.
- Personality Type 6: Paranoia, projection, and passive-aggressive behavior.
- Personality Type 7: Avoidance of pain, impulsivity, and distraction addiction.
- Personality Type 8: Domination, reactivity, and overprotection.
- Personality Type 9: Numbness, stubbornness, and emotional disengagement.
Each shadow pattern develops as a form of protection. But over time, these protections can become prisons.
How to Begin the Healing Process of Your Shadow
Elly J Tomlin outlines several practices for shadow integration:
- Name it – Notice your reactions. What triggers your defensiveness or withdrawal?
- Get curious – Ask Questions like: “What am I trying to protect right now?”
- Practice presence – You shadow loses its grip when you pause and breathe through the moment.
- Use your body – Many shadow reactions are somatic. Grounding, shaking, or even breathing can interrupt reactivity.
- Rewrite the narrative – Instead of “I always overreact,” try “Part of me feels scared. What does it need?”
Elly J Tomlin weaves somatic psychology and inner child work into this shadow process, offering readers tools for self-compassion, and not self-punishment.
From Shadow to Light
Recognizing your shadow does not mean you are a weak person, it makes you wise. You learn to witness your pain without being defined by it. As Tomlin writes, “Shadow work is not about erasing who you have been. It is about reclaiming who you are underneath the armor.”
By naming and integrating your type’s shadow, you stop letting fear run your life. You return to your essence, clear, compassionate, and grounded. And that is where true growth begins.